First half marathon

6-12 months before the race:
Mind: 'We could go for a walk/run?'
Body: 'No, no, no.. Hell no. Look how nice it is to be in horizontal position and watch TV/play games/read book/look in this super interesting spider creeping on the wall... I can see where this is going.'
Mind: 'Come on. You are fat, ugly and totally out of shape. I heard that you are capable for extraordinary things!'
Body: 'Oh, fuck you very much. You know that I am sucker for compliments. OK, one short walk is all you get.'
So with extraordinary effort, not used to any kind of activity, you make yourself get out of bed and go for walk/run kind of thing.

5-9 months before the race:
Mind: 'I told you it would be great.'
Body: 'Ha! I am in great shape. Nobody can stop me!!!'
Mind. 'You know, all of these people are training for races. Maybe we could try that.'
Body: 'FUCK THEM, WE ARE THE BEST!!!! FUCK ALL THE REST!!!!!! LET'S GOOOOO!!!!!!'

3-4 months before the race:
Mind & body: 'Now is the time to step it up. We shall go as fast and as far as possible! And we are gonna do it every day!!! Nobody can stop us!!!'

1 month before the race:
Body: 'Khmmm....'
Mind: 'Yes?'
Body: 'I'm a bit tired'
Mind: 'Don't be a woos.'
Body (after few days): 'Fuck you and fuck this shit...'
(check post about overtraining)

Day of the race:
Mind and body: 'Hey-ho, let's go!' 

First 5k:
Mind: 'Oh, yes, yes, yes! Here we go now!!! Just stay with the lead pack!!!! Victory here we come!!!!'
Body: 'I am not so sure about that... As you can see we are going 45 sec slower than our planed pace and our heart rate is 286 bpm, so...'
Mind: 'Blablabla... Finally we are here!!!! Look at all these runners!!!! Look at all the decorations!!! Hear the cheering of spectators!!! This is it! THIS IS IT!!!!!'

5k-10k:
Mind & body: 'OK it is a bit tough but we can pull it out! We are warriors!'

10k-15k:
Mind: 'We are so fucked up.. so fucked up...'
Body: 'Yep!'
Mind: 'Oh here is the water station! That could help. Let's water-board ourselves!!!'
Body: 'Gulp gasp gulp.. Fuck you and your idiotic ideas!'

15k-18k:
Mind & body: '-------' (silence....the only sound is the thumping of your feet...)

18k-21k (or as I like to call it 'HELL')
Mind: 'Stop! Stop! Stop! Stop! Stop! Stop!'
Body: 'Stop! Stop! Stop! Stop! Stop! Stop!'
Unknown force (aka the true soul of the runner): 'WE SHALL FINISH THIS, EVEN IF WE HAVE TO CRAWL TO THE FINISH LINE!!!! (in the sound of very deep and overwhelming voice of God almighty).
Mind & body: 'YES SIR! (but we are not happy *sigh*)'

Finish line:
Mind & body: 'What? Why? I can stop running now? Where? How? I am a bit confused... An apple? For me? Awwwww! You are so kind!!! Fuck the medal, apple is the one and only reward I want right now!!! I love you apple so much!!! You are the sweetest things I have ever eaten!...'
Mind & body (after few minutes of pulling yourself together): 'NEVER AGAIN!'
Unknown force: 'We shall see about that...'