Overtraining - first hand experience :/

Or as I like to call it: how to be a professional moron! :)

Note: Don't do this. No, seriously! Don't! It's not fun...

Sure you hear all of the usual things: too soon, too fast, too much, too far..whatever to your 'too' I shall say! After all, rules don't apply to me.. tremble in horrible fear you other people! Now you shall see what is proper training! And how to do it! One to two years and Olympic games here I come! More or less...

So you start running by yourself and in some time you figure out that maybe it would be a good idea to join a running school or running club. And so you do, and as it happens you are doing great there. In the begging it is hard but you are getting better and better and then you start hearing that little voice whispering to you: 

- 'I think you could go faster'.

- 'Well off course I could, but lets stick to the group plan.'

Then it is a little bit louder:

- 'But if you keep running little farther it would be great for You'. 

- 'Hmm mm, you think?

And the trouble is it can be very persistent:

- 'Fuck the rest day.. Are You a winner or what?!'

- 'WELL FUCK YES!!! HELL, I AM A WINNER!!! WE ARE GONNA GO RUNNING EVERY DAY AS FAST AND AS FAR AS POSSIBLE AND WE WILL STOP ONLY WHEN WE DROP DEAD ON THE GROUND!!!!!!'

So you maintain this rhythm for a few week constructing one plan crazier then other. Decreasing time and pace of your upcoming race (I really do think I can run this half marathon in under 1:45:00, I really don't see what is the big fuss about it. OK, we have to be realistic 1:35:00 is optimum. Anything above 1:25:00 and I am looser.).

And than, off course reality steps in and says:
- 'Well actually, no.'
- 'Hmmm, what do you mean, no?
- 'No!'
- 'Why not?'
- 'Because you are a professional moron who doesn't listen to anybody!' (Actually it was more like: 'Because fuck you, that's why..')

First it starts getting progressively harder to keep your normal pace. You blame the weather, it is too cold, it is too hot, it is too windy. Then you blame the food, the lack (or too much) sleep, gear (I hate this fuel belt, it is holding me back), you start hating the people you are running by (who are you eyeballing grandma?! you wanna peace off me?? just wait till I stop vomiting! I'm gonna get You! Stop running so fast.. never mind..next time granny....). Then you go into the sphere of unreal. Electromagnetic influence of Venus isn't right, that's why it is so difficult to run twice as slow as I suppose to. You try to fight it, eventually take a day or two of rest but by this point it is too little too late and you find yourself laying in bed after 14 days during which you slept on average 10-14 hours per day holding you teddy bear crying: 

'Please leave me alone I am so tired..my resting heart rate is 238 bpm.. I would go to the toilet but I would die from enormous effort...MOM!!! I AM HUNGRYYYY!!!! buhuhuuu huhu huuu... WHYYYYY?!?!?!?!? why meeeee?!?!?!?!...'

And off course that happens one month before your first half marathon. Off course! It wouldn't be funny if it would be any other way. 

Aha, and do we have to mention that you need at least one to two months to get back to your normal self. By that time the half marathon comes and goes (1:51:00 extremely happy regarding circumstance) and it took me another month to get back to full training.

So little voice is set to mute and here are the lessons I learned:

THERE ARE SUCH THINGS AS TOO SOON, TOO FAST, TOO MUCH, TOO FAR! Apparently.

Do it gradually. Step by step. First build the base with slow runs, and then you increase it by let's say, I don't know, from top of my mind, perhaps 10% weekly millage increase rule that you can find everywhere on the internet (it can vary, but use common sense, you simply can't go from 10 miles per month to 100 miles in next month if you are beginner). It will take some time to adapt to running. Speed comes last. And if you do speed training too many times a week you will probably get over trained! If it happens, don't loose hope! You will  have a mental melt down, it won't be pretty, but you will get better and become a little bit smarter than you were before.

After all running is great in teaching you humility.

P.S.I know that that little voice is still talking but I don't listen to it anymore, it's still on mute.
;)