Revolutionary new study about food and tapering!

New studies by American University of Useless Studies led by Ph.D. Candidate Ilike Toeat under supervision of the Head of Department for eating habits of athletes Sc.D. Nur McDork found that waffles are food no. 1 for runner of all age and gender. In combination with ice cream and chocolate this kind of food offers all the essential ingredients that are needed for our soul to reach new heights!

'Apparently all the other studies were wrong.' - sad Dr. McDork. - 'Yes, it is true that carbs, proteins, fat, vitamins and minerals have some influence on physical aspects of our body but till now studies focused only on physical aspect and this was a false premise because you can not split physical from psychological aspect of our being.'
And as this new study shows psychological aspect is as important or even more important then physical aspect of human body.
'Well if you can't make your self to get out of the couch then all concept of healthy living, fitness and good food goes out the drain.' - said Dr. McDork.
'So it is obvious that psychological aspect is the key aspect for better performance and You won't be happy eating broccoli all the time.' - noted Ph.D. Candidate Ilike Toeat.

This revolutionary new studies conducted on almost all of the humanity found that eating broccoli all the time can cause clinical depression, bad temper, unhappiness, build up of aggression and altogether unwillingness to do anything. Even the cases of 'THIS IS NOT LIVING' and 'FUCK THIS' were reported. The answer presented itself when in state of hopelessness Dr. McDork and Ph.D. Candidate Toeat went for a late night snack and ordered waffles.
'Sudden surge of happiness overwhelmed us. In few minutes we forget all about broccoli and started feeling like anything was possible. World looked like super cute and peaceful place. You can say we almost reached zen. Suddenly even an urge to run appeared and we ran back to our lab where we had a bag of chocolate chip cookies. What more proof do you need?!' - stated Dr. McDork and Ph.D. Candidate Toeat.

From this highly scientific study also emerged the idea of extreme tapering.
'After this revolutionary feeling it came to our mind what if this feeling could be stretched for longer periods of time? Let's say few months. As we all know the athletes get their best results after tapering and carbloading in the few weeks leading to the race or event. Can You imagine the results of 4 months extreme tapering in combination with 6 months of pasta party!?!?!' - said Ph.D. Candidate Toeat.
'We are really on the brink of the new era. Just wait and see. We will all be shocked by new results that this new breed of athletes will be producing.' - stated Dr. McDork.

We got confirmation that this is not just a mambo-jumbo from head of World Association for Food D.V.M. Imgona Eatyou - 'Finally the time has come when I can stuff myself to the brink of death and still be a professional athlete. The future is here!'

We are all eager to see the progress of this revolutionary studies and to happily run for waffles and chocolate chip cookies and in that way increase our physical status, our health, stamina, aerobic capacity, have a healthy will to live and to be altogether much happier.

;)

Overtraining - first hand experience :/

Or as I like to call it: how to be a professional moron! :)

Note: Don't do this. No, seriously! Don't! It's not fun...

Sure you hear all of the usual things: too soon, too fast, too much, too far..whatever to your 'too' I shall say! After all, rules don't apply to me.. tremble in horrible fear you other people! Now you shall see what is proper training! And how to do it! One to two years and Olympic games here I come! More or less...

So you start running by yourself and in some time you figure out that maybe it would be a good idea to join a running school or running club. And so you do, and as it happens you are doing great there. In the begging it is hard but you are getting better and better and then you start hearing that little voice whispering to you: 

- 'I think you could go faster'.

- 'Well off course I could, but lets stick to the group plan.'

Then it is a little bit louder:

- 'But if you keep running little farther it would be great for You'. 

- 'Hmm mm, you think?

And the trouble is it can be very persistent:

- 'Fuck the rest day.. Are You a winner or what?!'

- 'WELL FUCK YES!!! HELL, I AM A WINNER!!! WE ARE GONNA GO RUNNING EVERY DAY AS FAST AND AS FAR AS POSSIBLE AND WE WILL STOP ONLY WHEN WE DROP DEAD ON THE GROUND!!!!!!'

So you maintain this rhythm for a few week constructing one plan crazier then other. Decreasing time and pace of your upcoming race (I really do think I can run this half marathon in under 1:45:00, I really don't see what is the big fuss about it. OK, we have to be realistic 1:35:00 is optimum. Anything above 1:25:00 and I am looser.).

And than, off course reality steps in and says:
- 'Well actually, no.'
- 'Hmmm, what do you mean, no?
- 'No!'
- 'Why not?'
- 'Because you are a professional moron who doesn't listen to anybody!' (Actually it was more like: 'Because fuck you, that's why..')

First it starts getting progressively harder to keep your normal pace. You blame the weather, it is too cold, it is too hot, it is too windy. Then you blame the food, the lack (or too much) sleep, gear (I hate this fuel belt, it is holding me back), you start hating the people you are running by (who are you eyeballing grandma?! you wanna peace off me?? just wait till I stop vomiting! I'm gonna get You! Stop running so fast.. never mind..next time granny....). Then you go into the sphere of unreal. Electromagnetic influence of Venus isn't right, that's why it is so difficult to run twice as slow as I suppose to. You try to fight it, eventually take a day or two of rest but by this point it is too little too late and you find yourself laying in bed after 14 days during which you slept on average 10-14 hours per day holding you teddy bear crying: 

'Please leave me alone I am so tired..my resting heart rate is 238 bpm.. I would go to the toilet but I would die from enormous effort...MOM!!! I AM HUNGRYYYY!!!! buhuhuuu huhu huuu... WHYYYYY?!?!?!?!? why meeeee?!?!?!?!...'

And off course that happens one month before your first half marathon. Off course! It wouldn't be funny if it would be any other way. 

Aha, and do we have to mention that you need at least one to two months to get back to your normal self. By that time the half marathon comes and goes (1:51:00 extremely happy regarding circumstance) and it took me another month to get back to full training.

So little voice is set to mute and here are the lessons I learned:

THERE ARE SUCH THINGS AS TOO SOON, TOO FAST, TOO MUCH, TOO FAR! Apparently.

Do it gradually. Step by step. First build the base with slow runs, and then you increase it by let's say, I don't know, from top of my mind, perhaps 10% weekly millage increase rule that you can find everywhere on the internet (it can vary, but use common sense, you simply can't go from 10 miles per month to 100 miles in next month if you are beginner). It will take some time to adapt to running. Speed comes last. And if you do speed training too many times a week you will probably get over trained! If it happens, don't loose hope! You will  have a mental melt down, it won't be pretty, but you will get better and become a little bit smarter than you were before.

After all running is great in teaching you humility.

P.S.I know that that little voice is still talking but I don't listen to it anymore, it's still on mute.
;)